January, bettering self for career::

Well, friends. Been a ridiculously long time since I have been on, over a year. Not much happened last year. Seems like all I ever do is give an update of the past. I'd rather use this post to talk about recent events. 

This past month of January, I took a CNA class. I knew that since I have a nurturing personality I could make a great nurse. I was originally planning on going all the way to RN, but the class itself put me in slow motion. It is WAY harder than it seems. Mostly because in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about my personal experiences. We did 2ish weeks of classroom lecture and lab and then one week of clinical in the setting. We went to a local home that had many different sections from independent apartments to nursing home that had multiple units. My class spent time in the nursing home section. On the second floor were the residents that didn't have much physical control or muscle. Using mostly wheelchairs and having incontinent cared for. On the main floor were 3 units for Alzheimer's residents. I spent time in almost all areas. On the main floor was a unit with mostly behavior issues and that is where I really fit in. I was able to step up and complete a lot of tasks properly. I was able to connect with MANY residents. It was hard to leave! 

So with that done, I have to take state testing before I can get a job in the field. 

Then I plan on applying everywhere! Look at me go! 

The endssss.

2012...in a nutshell

Well, I have not been on here in forever... but I wanted to write about the year 2012. Only because it has been the best year of my life. There has been, of course, rough times but 99% of this year has been amazing.

January. Starting right off, I quit my retail management position at CJ Banks and started at Wells Fargo as a loan processer. This was a healthier choice for me and great for pay. Grant and I invested in a new car, and getting rid of the terrible Merc Sable I was pushing around. We bought a 2012 Chevy Sonic. Redish color, and hatchback. A perfect car for me. Perfect. and then... we adopted Cooper. After a few phone calls with his previous temp owner, we made a trip out to Carroll, Iowa. Long drive and we didn't even know if we would bring home Cooper but we were anxious and excited. Right away, Cooper loved us, he sat on our lap and loved us. We were able to sign papers and take jim home that day. We were so excited!!

Februrary. uhm not much this month....

March. Grants birthday was fun as always. Also this month was the 100th anniversary for Girl Scouts so I went to some events for that and just really embraced my blue blood, as they say. Iowa council held a BIG event, which was fun with my daisy girls :)

April. boring month....

May. Michelle and I drove to Savannah, GA for the soujourn reunion... my first time there and I was a complete GS nerd... I mean, freaking out at Juliette's house and the head quarters... just... ahhhh!!!! We took our time there and back, stopping at interestimg things, walking around parks and really enjoying life. I took over 3000 pictures and just loved the scenery. We also went to the beach, which I loved as well!
Also this month- the class I started with at Waldorf graduated. Including Laura. I attended with Grant.

June. We spent lots of time outside swimming as it started warming up :)
I also quit my BN job this month, freeing up more time for me.  I spent my Sundays at Camp Sac helping my friend Katie, camp director... only for a few weeks.
Also, Grants brother gets married, as well as my cousin Bryna.

July. Well, biggest month of the year for me. On July 14, Grant and I went bowling with all our friends. He did the planning for this epic event and for a good reason. Grant went to bowl, and fell. I went out to help him and he asked me to be his wife!! WE GOT ENGAGED!!! Made me the happiest girl in the world :)
This month I also start Boot Camp, my brother being the instructor. I did this for about 5 months I think, but got too busy to continue. I learned a lot, gained muscle but gained self confidence.

August. Grant and I celebrated two full years together.

September. My middle brother, Clark married the most wonderful woman in the world. They had an adorable wedding outside and I was their little assistant... I had fun with it, but I was exhausted by nights end :)

October. My 23th birthday. This month my brother died, our family dog Panther past away this month. He was old and the best dog ever. He will be missed but he will always be loved.

November. Thanksgiving... we spent with Grants family, enjoying good food and talk :) I also planned and managed Fall Camp with Girl Scouts.

December. Not much here... shopping with friends, cookie decorating tradition first annual year with Laura... and then the holidays.

Overall, this year was amazing and I cannot say it enough, I am finally growing into this life and its suiting me quite well. I love the people around me and I am so grateful for such great times.
Happy 2012!!!

[[You must fight just to keep them alive]]

Okay, put on a motivator song like Eye of the Tiger or the theme song to Rocky... something along those lines. And then read this.
About 3 weeks ago, I started doing BootCamp. My brother Calvin is an instructor at Lean Body BootCamp and I called him up about a month ago. I asked what they do at workout/in class. I asked for facts about it, I did not want to be sold to, I just wanted facts. I knew I needed to do something in my life, so I thought about it. I decided to try it out. I went on a Friday night at 7pm... and that was rough, I hurt so badly afterwards. and the whole weekend I did not want to move. BUT Monday evening came around and I went back. I signed up, put my autograph on the contact and did the workout again. I hurt again. I went Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday but I hurt my hip, so I skipped Friday to go to DR and relax. I went back Monday and still pushed hard. That was last week. I went 4 nights a week. I pushed every night. I did not give up.
Now, DO NOT imagine me doing everything perfectly cause I still cannot do all the exercises completely. But I try. For example, I cannot do a push up. I cannot do a complete burpee. I cannot go very far with lunges. I cannot run the 100 dash without falling over. I cannot lift more than 15 lbs on any exercise.
BUT I CAN
keep pushing or keep moving throughout the entire hour. I do not just stop and stand there or lay there. I keep going. If its too hard, I do what I can, and that is what matters.
The music is blasted throughout this small gym and the groups are small. It is personalized, not cause my brother is the instructor, but because its a small group and he knows everyone and what they are capable of. He instructs by example, not screaming. He encourages you individually and not as a group (well that too, but both... lol). Every night is a new workout. A new set of things to work on. From arms to legs to cardio to weights etc. So, its interesting every night.
Another highlight of all this. The people that are also there have been in my shoes so they understand what I am going through. They encourage me ever so greatly. Tonight is the best example, during the 100 dashes, a friend started running WITH me. He saw that I was having a hard time. He told me to take a break and breath and then walk but he still encouraged me more than I could ever imagine. 
I could not breath tonight, and I hurt so bad all over, but I did not give up. I wanted to faint, but I kept going. (drank a LOT of water, but kept going).

So, that is my blog on my new boot camp life. The end.

Peace.

woooosssaaahhhhhh

Not sure how to start this but here we go; I am so tired of people walking all over me. Harassing me, taking their aggression out on me, bossing me around, making me feel worthless and stupid etc.
This happens every day. and not just once or twice a day, about every hour. It happens from all sorts of people... co-workers, friends, family etc. Well, not as many friends because I do not think that is a friendship. But you get the point.
The reason I say this is because today I worked 12 hours without a break (I ran home to let dog out but then ran back to work). I stayed at my desk working through files, emails and phone calls. I managed to get a lot accomplished but I am feeling utterly down in the dumps. All I can think about is how people have been treating me. How people have bossed me around and told me what to do (which in turns makes me feel so stupid and worthless).
The more this goes on, the more and more I lack self-confidence. I HATE getting phone calls at work because who-ever is on the other end usually SUCCEEDS in making me feel stupid. Very rarely am I able to tell people off. Very Rarely am I able to say HEY! LISTEN to what I HAVE done instead of the things I need to work on.
I get a few "GOOD JOB" comments a month, but when a person is criticized more and more... it wears them down. As such: ME currently.
When I wake up, I have all this motivation to accomplish things, to get things done, to mark things off my list etc. but by time I get home, or even after an hour after working... I feel like nothing matters because I am not going to satisfy anything. So, in turn, I come home and sit on the couch, utterly miserable. I go to bed early, I wake up early and do it all again. Weekends roll around and I normally have so much planned that I am unable to complete anything on my actual to-do list. OR there is nothing planned and I try to relax when I have a chance.... lose-lose situation.
So, since my self-confidence has been run down completely... I am not able to tell people WHAT is REALLY going on... or tell them NO, I will not do that OR NO, that is YOUR job, not MINE.... get it? well, welcome to my life.
This is my rant. I am going to get ready for bed now... yep, not even 8pm and ready for bed. Awesome.

*sigh

magazine picture perfect

Lately its been on my mind... not sure how to explain this but I will try.
I am constantly comparing my home to magazines... like, the cleaniness, the organization, the design etc. I dream of my future house to look like a magazine. I dream of my future home to look just like the pictures I see in a magazine. I know, deep down, that this will never happen. I know that I have my own spin to what I like. I know that I will never have enough money to make perfection and I know that perfection is unrealistic. BUT. I cannot help but to want all my bedroom furniture to match, all my kitchen appliances/utensils/plates/bowls/etc to match, my living room to have matching furniture, my closet to be organized, etc etc etc.
When I go shopping, I try to keep in mind what I have at home to match everything, but that never works out well. I try to look for organization things at the store, but between my bf and I, we have too much stuff... We have both gone through our stuff to lessen things, but that never makes a big impact. I guess when we move, we can make sure to have a basement to through all the extra stuff, and keep the main living space organized... but for now, I think I need to accept the fact that the things I like will be mix-matched. And that hammy-down things are vintage (ha.)
In my mind, I always wonder if anyone lives like a magazine or if they want to live like a magazine. Does that exist? Is it okay to not live like a magazine? Is it okay to not follow the path? (Well, that is opening another can of worms with that question.... but still.)

That is my post for now, Peace.

Sojourn Memories

So finally time to write my thoughts and experience from my road trip to Savannah. I wrote a lot when I was away; I will italicize things written from my journal versus what I am writing now.
We stopped at a rest area in Iowa; to rest our areas lol; so far its clougy and windy but GA's sunshine is calling our name!

We ran into a lot of construction; which sucked because it slowed our time major. We told stories, listened to 90's music the whole way. We made jokes, passing time. I was master of the maps and master of the camera. That was my job. I was good at it too! We had storms almost the whole way there. And back, luckily, GA was sunshine for us!! :)

Michelle called me Captain Obvious a lot, because well, that was me...

I wore dresses and tank tops; planning for GA sunshine, but with the storms, I was freezing when we stopped for gas or drinks etc.


"I'll drive you to the ocean, not in the ocean"- Michelle. "True Friend" - Alicia


"I know the basics of football. Theres huddle, kick and touchdown!" - Michelle. LMAO

Louisville, KY was exciting for us; just because we were past IL and getting close to GA!

Just past Elizabethtown, KY: Alicia was waving at truck drivers and finally one waved back! SO EXCITING! but then he became creeper and was playing games with us to pass him then he would pass us etc BUT THEN he tried signaling us to go to rest stop with him... yeah. NOT HAPPENING. We finally got him on our left as we were coming up on our exit, we edged to the exit slowly so that he could not pull in either. That "game" went on for MILES and MILES. I never waved at another truck driver. I tried hiding actually.

We stopped at Mammoth Caves, KY; we walked around a lot, saw a coyote, turkey and chipmunk. we saw the entrance to a bat cave, but did not go down inside. The air was hot and humid until you got close to the cave then it got much cooler! It felt so nice. We saw a bunch of butterflies; I think someone spilled pop or juice cause they were all there and not moving. Got some awesome pictures though! The walking paths throughout that park were all very nice! When leaving, we were following tour buses; and they were stopping and going off onto the grass... we didnt know what was going on; but then we saw that they were passing and going around a snake! In Iowa, we would have just ran over that, but in that park, they went around it. So silly, but okay... lol


"Smells Pretty" - Alicia commenting on wood burning "Wonder what kind of woof it is?" - Michelle. "Natural" - Alicia

TN surprised me; didnt realize we were coming up and then all of sudden we were passing state line ahahaha! We pulled over for that sign since I was not ready. In my defense, the map was folded right on state line. Thats why we should "FOLD THE MAP!"

Chattanooga, TN/GA. We drove up lookout mountain. So pretty up there. We were going to stop at places but it was $$$ to see the attractions; so we drove past and took lots of pictures of the area. We were zig zagging through the time zones and the state lines; so fun. We did not stop much otherwise; to save money, we pulled into parking lot and ate our food we brought along with us. We then realized the sketchy-ness of the hotel parking lot we were in... that will not happen again! HA!

"Do you need to rest your area?" - Alicia "Nope, my area is just peachy" -Michelle (somewhere in GA, the peach state)

Finally in Savannah:
Woke up to tall ships outside our window. We eat etc and then start walking to Hotel DeSoto; we pass the birthplace and it was so exciting!!!! It was the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I was taking so many pictures. When I came up on the birthplace I almost fell backwards because it was so pretty. I loved it. The whole city was beautiful; the walk ways, the street signs, drain spouts, iron fences, trees... everything was so perfect.
They gave us gift bags and we got lots of goodies in there! I took a lot of pictures; mostly of the architecture. and the area; so pretty. It was so hot but the breeze from the river was perfect. Southern people were polite; we had a young man call me ma'am and young lady as he was working... so nice.
I was the youngest of the group and the only one that had never been to GA before. Toured Birthplace and it was perfect; so beautiful. We sang songs and did crafts etc. LOVED it.
Juliette lived an elegant life and she still wanted to help girls of all races, diversity and class level!
We went to a museum for a reception that was way higher class than I felt comfortable with. I mean... tall tables, wine, art sculptures, mini food etc. They did not have enough tables and no chairs. It was kind of awkward. We left early there and walked around a little before heading back to hotel. LOTS of pictures.
Then I went down to river front alone and walked around. It was pretty and peaceful. It was a Friday night so the place was poppin but still amazing. I loved it. I saw pirates walking around... that was just awesome!!! later to find out they were theatre people :( The ship from Pirates of Caribbean was down along river but I did not see that until Sunday. So cool! We had late nights and early mornings... but all well worth it.
Saturday: we went to history museum that used to be the train station! SO AWESOME. the museum had actual things from Gordon family. The whole city was focused on Juliette and that is just awesome. I loved that. Her family is a vital part of the history of the city. Her grandfather, father, mother etc all made a difference.
Saturday Morning we went to TYBEE ISLAND. Took many more pictures; I wanted to spend more time at the ocean, but that was not really an option cause we had to make it back in time for the brunch thing. They had three speakers and they were reading from letters that were written from Juliette or to Juliette from family and friends. It was so inspirational, I loved it! Daisy was a remarkable woman and I am glad I look up to her in my own life.
We then toured the Savannah History Museum; old train station. The Tour guide really had good information about the Gordon Family and related everything to the Gordons :)
Next was the Ships of Sea museum; it was cool but I was done in 30 minutes and they gave us an hour and half... even the other ladies were done in 30 minutes. We waited outside for an hour before our Trolly came again. While waiting, we saw two cop cars/three police officers get out with intent and hands on guns to go to building across street. They were securing the building before going in. Then we saw or heard nothing.
We then travelled to Andrew Low house. I was excited for this, but was utterly disappointed. They were rich snobby Colonial Dames that owned the place; and they gave us the tour. They basically bragged about how awesome Andrew and Willie. They never had to work because they had money. She only mentioned Juliette a couple times; with no interest. She talked to us like we did not know anything about Juliette. She had some facts wrong and our ladies corrected her! YEAH! When tour was done; I was disgusted and did not want to buy anything. Luckily the Headquaters was next and that cheered me up. They had artifacts and it was educational! I bought "golden eaglet" but it will be shipped to me. Later that night we went to a show at the theatre that Juliette first performed at; so awesome being there. The show was amazing; songs from 60, 70 and 80s! SO enjoyable!
Sunday: we went to church where Juliette attended; that was awesome. We were the only ones along with a few others there. But then we also met her great nephew! what an honor!
We went back to birthplace, did photo on the front steps. Then we did some swapping in between. We were lead to the back for the pinning ceremony; and that was emotional because I was pinned daughter of the house. SO AWESOME. Donie pinned me and it was so emotional. The pinning ceremony got to me when Katharine said we were walking in Juliette's footsteps. I lost it. I was following her footsteps. That is the only thing I have wanted; I wanted and still want to be just like her. And I was being pinned. In. Her. Garden. *heart flutters.
Afterwards we talk with some friends then we do more swapping. Finally we get on the road and head out to the cemetary. I cried again because I wanted here there with me to share storied, ideas and passion. But she was gone. I cried. Her cemetary was beautiful. I hate cemetaries, but hers was beautiful. Her Soul will live forever, and her passion bleeds in all of us. May you never be forgotten and girls everywhere will live for you. Passion is... bleeding blue.

We then went back to Savannah downtown and river front... walked around quite a bit. Then we drove out to Fort Pulaski. That place was awesome too; so powerful and that land was so huge; I cannot imagine being there in the war, just powerful. The city of Savannah was beautiful, powerful and emotional but I loved it so much. I met women that were just like me; passionate. I will never forget those women. Those women are the women of the future; Girl Scouts is the future of growth and positively a better tomorrow.  

We cut lots out of the trip only because we did not leave Savannah until 6pm... We wanted to get home too.
On way Home:
We stopped at a Waffle House in SC; and that was just awesome. I love Waffle House, we need one in Iowa.
We stopped at Chimney Rock and hiked almost 3 miles to and from the waterfall in the mountains. SO PRETTY. I loved hiking, and the waterfall I loved it all. The waterfall was 2x the length of Niagra Falls :) I kept thinking how Indians and ancestors all past through the mountains; I give them props cause even driving through there was challenging. It was beautiful though. We also stopped at the Biltmore in Asheville NC but the tickets were very expensive just to tour. It is known to be the biggest house in America with 8000 acres. They had a garden, winery and mansion on their land, as well as a mini lake thing.
We ate at Waffle House again that night :) YUMM.
We then drove all the way through to Des Moines. We went through parts of Illinois, Missouri and then up through Ottuma, Osky and then Des Moines. It was a long drive all through the night, but worth it.

I will never forget the people I met, the sights I saw, the memories I made. Always will that live in my heart. I walked in her footsteps and I will never forget that.

Thats the end Folks :)

Immmm Movvvvvinggggg Outttttt!

Just a quick ramble about some thoughts. I kind of have an obsession that I want to move far away. Not really for any particular reason; but its always been a random dream. For years now, I have been wanting to move to the east coast. I go through phases; Boston, NYC, Florida, Washington DC, and currently GA. I go to all extents; I do research on taxes, housing, jobs, shopping and lifestyle necessities. I have fun with that about just dreaming of moving there and being a whole new me. Part of me says, you will still be you no matter where you move. and another part says you rely on change to make you happy. Another part of me says keep dreaming girrrrl. Anyways. Currently its a GA thing; I am road tripping there next week and I am ever so excited. Now that I have Grant in my life, I want him to come with me. I want him by my side always. He is not as excited about the idea of moving to GA, but I cannot stop thinking about how I cannot wait to visit there. I know that I will fall in love with it there; I already know it.
There are so many other thoughts, but I wanted to focus on this thought right now. I could easily type on and on about all these other things on my mind, but I won't. Mostly because something will offend someone that reads this and partly because its personal. Anyways. There it is. Have a good day!! :)
Peace. <3